This post brought to you by Quilted Northern. The content and opinions expressed below are that of All in All.
![http://bit.ly/1JSmiMv]()
I need therapy. I freely admit it. I need a safe place to share the many stories of desperation, helplessness, and sheer disgust.
You may also need the same help that I am seeking out right now. I reach out to your through this post in the hopes that we may form a bond of friendship and through this alliance find peace.
I suffer from public bathroom trauma.
It's true. The struggle is so real, but I find comfort in knowing that I am not alone and also that I can make my own bathroom at home a safe haven (clean, soft and splinter-free toilet paper, devoid of foul odors, no poop in the trash can, etc.)
MOMMY NEEDS A TIME OUT
I've noticed that recently I often hear the question coming from the back seat...
"Umm... is there a bathroom where we are going?"
"WILLOW! You just went at the restaurant 30 minutes ago!"
"I know, but I hafta go again."
"Well, it's too late now. You'll have to hold it until we get to the ice cream festival."
3.2 minutes later...
"Ummm... I won't be able to hold it until we get to the ice cream festi-bowl" (you read that right... festi-bowl is three year old talk for festival.)
UGGGHHHH
Time for the dreaded fast food restaurant potty break. Once inside the oh so disgusting bathroom you'll hear me shrieking, "DON'T TOUCH ANYTHINGGGGG!" I wrap the toilet in tissue and randomly toss hand sanitizer into the air like Holy Water to ward off demons of e-coli.
We finish our business in the dingy dungeon of a bathroom, sanitize ourselves to a level that falls just short of full biological decontamination, then trudge out to the car to hit the road yet again.
15 freaking minutes later...
"Mom... ummm... I think I hafta go potty again?"
"WHAT?! Was that a question?"
"Well, no. I do haffa go potty again."
I'd like to tell you that I reacted with sweet patience and a calm spirit towards my little angel daughter. (And why does she have to be so stinkin' cute anyway!) I'd also like to tell you that we were at that very moment arriving at our destination. I'd love to say that we were not stuck in completely ridiculous stand-still traffic for 45 minutes waiting to get in to the ice cream festival... apparently a hot Ohio destination on that particular Sunday afternoon. I'd be thrilled to report that upon arrival to the festival we immediately found conveniently located, clean, inviting, and sunny fresh private bathrooms.
Not a single thing above was true. All lies. Lies sssss.
Instead we waited in the stupidest traffic for e v e r while listening to a small child whine incessantly about needing to pee... again. For the third time in an hour.
Finally I grabbed my purse and bailed out of the vehicle as it stood in traffic. I unbuckled my girl from her car seat then snatched her up and jumped a temporary fence to get to... the port-a-potty's.
Oh sweet goodness...
The moment we stepped inside, Willow exclaimed "EEEEWWWW! I don't wanna go now!"
*sigh*
I made her go anyhow.
MY BATHROOM, MY RULES
I may have bathroom problems, but I know one who has it worse...
This poor duck has seen so much from her perch on the side of the bathtub facing towards the porcelain throne. And I know for sure from my many terrifying bathroom experiences... there are just some things one cannot un-see!
I just watched a series of funny Designed to be Forgotten videos on this bathroom subject directed by Academy Award nominee Bennett Miller. These videos from Quilted Northern are a part of the #HelpMeForget campaign, because the best bathroom moments are the ones we never have to remember!
Check out my favorite #HelpMeForget video below. Really, you should just watch them all! Click here. You'll get a kick out of them!
Please do me a favor and take a moment to check out Quilted Northern on Facebook and YouTube. Life is too short for lousy toilet paper... so make your bathroom experiences much less memorable and buy the best!
![Visit Sponsors Site]()
I need therapy. I freely admit it. I need a safe place to share the many stories of desperation, helplessness, and sheer disgust.
You may also need the same help that I am seeking out right now. I reach out to your through this post in the hopes that we may form a bond of friendship and through this alliance find peace.
I suffer from public bathroom trauma.
It's true. The struggle is so real, but I find comfort in knowing that I am not alone and also that I can make my own bathroom at home a safe haven (clean, soft and splinter-free toilet paper, devoid of foul odors, no poop in the trash can, etc.)
MOMMY NEEDS A TIME OUT
I've noticed that recently I often hear the question coming from the back seat...
"Umm... is there a bathroom where we are going?"
"WILLOW! You just went at the restaurant 30 minutes ago!"
"I know, but I hafta go again."
"Well, it's too late now. You'll have to hold it until we get to the ice cream festival."
3.2 minutes later...
"Ummm... I won't be able to hold it until we get to the ice cream festi-bowl" (you read that right... festi-bowl is three year old talk for festival.)
UGGGHHHH
Time for the dreaded fast food restaurant potty break. Once inside the oh so disgusting bathroom you'll hear me shrieking, "DON'T TOUCH ANYTHINGGGGG!" I wrap the toilet in tissue and randomly toss hand sanitizer into the air like Holy Water to ward off demons of e-coli.
We finish our business in the dingy dungeon of a bathroom, sanitize ourselves to a level that falls just short of full biological decontamination, then trudge out to the car to hit the road yet again.
15 freaking minutes later...
"Mom... ummm... I think I hafta go potty again?"
"WHAT?! Was that a question?"
"Well, no. I do haffa go potty again."
I'd like to tell you that I reacted with sweet patience and a calm spirit towards my little angel daughter. (And why does she have to be so stinkin' cute anyway!) I'd also like to tell you that we were at that very moment arriving at our destination. I'd love to say that we were not stuck in completely ridiculous stand-still traffic for 45 minutes waiting to get in to the ice cream festival... apparently a hot Ohio destination on that particular Sunday afternoon. I'd be thrilled to report that upon arrival to the festival we immediately found conveniently located, clean, inviting, and sunny fresh private bathrooms.
Not a single thing above was true. All lies. Lies sssss.
Instead we waited in the stupidest traffic for e v e r while listening to a small child whine incessantly about needing to pee... again. For the third time in an hour.
Finally I grabbed my purse and bailed out of the vehicle as it stood in traffic. I unbuckled my girl from her car seat then snatched her up and jumped a temporary fence to get to... the port-a-potty's.
Oh sweet goodness...
The moment we stepped inside, Willow exclaimed "EEEEWWWW! I don't wanna go now!"
*sigh*
I made her go anyhow.
MY BATHROOM, MY RULES
I may have bathroom problems, but I know one who has it worse...
If this duck could talk... http://t.co/lEvi7TftUs#HelpMeForget#Funny#Ad@QuiltedNorthernpic.twitter.com/LILQhpIkvh— All in All (@carissalynn) May 29, 2015This poor duck has seen so much from her perch on the side of the bathtub facing towards the porcelain throne. And I know for sure from my many terrifying bathroom experiences... there are just some things one cannot un-see!
I just watched a series of funny Designed to be Forgotten videos on this bathroom subject directed by Academy Award nominee Bennett Miller. These videos from Quilted Northern are a part of the #HelpMeForget campaign, because the best bathroom moments are the ones we never have to remember!
Check out my favorite #HelpMeForget video below. Really, you should just watch them all! Click here. You'll get a kick out of them!
Please do me a favor and take a moment to check out Quilted Northern on Facebook and YouTube. Life is too short for lousy toilet paper... so make your bathroom experiences much less memorable and buy the best!